Keep the innocence

A friend once told me that optimism is no excuse for being blind to reality.

I found this to be visionary, not because of the meaning but rather the logic behind the meaning. Logic, simplistic as it is, can be applied to numerous ideas. And I have done just that: applied what I call the "no excuse" logic to various ideas.

The other day I was in a department store and saw something that repulsed me on every level of my humanity.

A little boy who looked to be about three or four years old was entertaining himself while the woman I presume was his mother looked at clothes. I watched in amusement as the boy crawled under one side of a rack of clothes and out the other side, giggling each time he dove back under the rack.

The woman told him to stop twice, in a tone that was less than loving, and when the boy did not stop she reached down, grabbed him off the floor and stood him on his feet. In the process, a blouse was knocked off the rack.

Most rational human beings would have at this point put the blouse back and explained to the toddler that he needed to behave (although a child that age is still learning what exactly that means).

Instead, the woman spanked the child rather severely. When the child began to cry, she spanked him once more.

I know opinions vary in society over the measures parents should take to discipline their children. But I think the important thing to remember is that they are children, not cattle that need to be herded or steeds that need to be tamed. They're kids.

And as kids, they are forming opinions about themselves and the world. They are developing the self-confidence that will follow most of them throughout their lives.

Perhaps most imperative is the fact that they are looking for affirmation and validation from the world, something to give them coherence, a reason to stay in it. Typically, they first look to the adults in their lives. Later on they look to peers, but if they have received it from their parents, any rejection they experience at the hands of their peers is far less likely to be traumatic.

But, moreover, parents who beat their kids (and it is beating, despite the many softening synonyms we have created to detract from the brutality of the act) take a part of that kid's self-worth away. When this happens, it takes away their ability to give back, to make any contribution to the world, to love (be it themselves, family, friends, spouses or their own children). Strike by strike, you dehumanize them, and that's what it does. It strips them of their humanity bit by bit.

So, here's the thing. Discipline is no excuse for child abuse. Children are children. Let them keep their innocence. Trust me, it is a fleeting thing, and in today's world, a child doesn't need their parents to take it away from them.

Contact Caleb Whisenant at whisenant@marshall.edu.