 "Photo: Jennifer Chapman")
 "Photo: Jennifer Chapman")
Author and speaker Jackie Kendall was in the Tri-state area Saturday sharing advice for teens, single women and their mothers.
At “Straight Talk About Guys” at Union Missionary Baptist Church in Chesapeake, Ohio, Kendall spoke to females about the importance of waiting for the right man. Kendall said that is the single most important piece of advice she could give to girls.
“Be aware that the most dangerous thing you can do is be impatient for what is good,” Kendall said. “What is good costs us a waiting period, and most girls have a very hard time waiting. They want what they want now.”
Kendall gave this advice to a crowd of more than 400 females. She told them it takes time to find a man worth waiting for because most guys have to go through a maturing process. She said not to waste that time, though.
“Make a difference in the world,” Kendall said. “Continue to go after your dreams, and when he’s ready, he’ll notice a woman worth waiting for.” Kendall believes if God wants a person to marry, he will have a certain person chosen to become a spouse
“When my first Christian boyfriend broke up with me, I was devastated,” Kendall said.
“Then I read a verse that said, ‘If God gave me the best in Jesus, how much more in everything else.’ I thought, ‘If this is not the best, I can’t imagine the good that’s coming!’ I’ve been married to a good man for 35 years.”
Kendall advised the girls to stay away from a guy who show them little respect, who try to compromise their beliefs and who are bent on getting their own way. She said the person to look for one who will provide for the one he loves and who will protect her purity and her heart.
The conference also included a skit by the New Baptist Youth Crew and songs by a praise band from Pea Ridge Baptist Church. They presented a fashion show to teach it is possible to look stylish and modest at the same time. Local volunteers led breakout sessions, dividing the girls up by middle school, high school and college-aged girls.
Michelle Protzman is the youth leader at River Cities Community Church in Huntington and led the college group of about 30 women.
“We talked about fulfillment,” Protzman said. “Where do real love, joyand peace come from? What would it take for our lives to truly be made full? God and his word are the only things to fulfill your life.
“No one can complete you, only complement you,” she said. “Only God can complete you.”
Lianna Ward, a junior pre-communication disorder major, was in Protzman’s group. She agreed with what was taught in the group.
“At this age, a lot of people are focused on finding careers and guys,” Ward said, “and you can’t find fulfillment on earth. It comes from God.”
Laura Canterbury, from Huntington, organized the event and attends Union Missionary Baptist Church. She said planning for the conference started about a year ago.
“I went to a mother-daughter conference with my daughter about a year ago in Lexington and Jackie was one of the speakers,” Canterbury said. “I was very impressed with her presentation and what she had to say.”
Canterbury said her daughter didn’t get to hear Kendall speak because she was in a different group but she bought a video of Kendall speaking for her daughter to hear.
“It kind of went from there,” Canterbury said. “It just kept getting bigger and bigger until we contacted Jackie and started talking about having something here.”
Canterbury said she was pleased with how the event went.
“I think it turned out fabulously,” Canterbury said. “It was exactly what I had hoped for.”
Kendall said her speaking career started when she was in high school. She was asked to speak at a civic center in San Diego, Calif., in front of 10,000 people.
“I was being interviewed, asking can Jesus can really change a teen,” Kendall said. “I spoke and the impact was so profound. I thought nothing of it.
“I was told later, ‘Be careful, God has given you a gift and he wants to use it for his glory,’” Kendall said. “It’s not like I set out to be a speaker, but I set out to take every opportunity to tell others whatever I was learning.”
Kendall was from a difficult home, where her father abused all her and her brothers and sisters. She had never owned a Bible or been to church, and someone at her high school invited her to a youth meeting at his house. It was at that meeting when she became a Christian. Getting out of the abusive home at age 18, she was having a hard time financially, and had hopes of eventually going to a Christian college.
“I spoke at a fundraiser,” Kendall said. “They said, ‘will you come and help us raise money for a youth center?’ Oh man, I love doing stuff for youth, so I spoke. A millionaire hears me and cracks down a full ride scholarship, clothing, plane flights, pizza, everything I would need. Four years, my choice, whatever school. He was so blown away by my life.
“If the doors open, I walk through them,” Kendall said, “as long as I know God is going to get glory out of it. That’s always the stipulation – Will God find glory in what I’ve done?”
“My first counselor said that if I learned about what I had gone through with the abuse,” Kendall said, “and understand God’s impact and let God heal it, then I can help others not waste their lives looking back on what was done, letting one event or one terrible thing determine their whole lives.
“Learn from it and help others move past it,” she said.
Kendall said that is the most rewarding part of what she does.
“Watching people who come from a dysfunctional home like I came out of find hope, because they think, ‘Wow, if God can take that torn-up life and do something good, then there’s hope for me,” Kendall said. “Like the little mouse Despereaux, in that wonderful movie ‘Despereaux.’ He says, ‘When a person has hope, he’s no one’s prisoner. I give hope.”
Kendall has written, “Say Goodbye to Shame,” “A Man worth Waiting For,” “Free Yourself to Love” and has co-authored “Lady in Waiting,” which is now available in nine languages. She travels to conferences to speak to girls and women sharing her experiences and what she has learned.
Jennifer Chapman can be contacted at eastham1@marshall.edu.
